It’s been snowing in the Pacific Northwest and I don’t remember having to shovel this much before. When we were in Kenya, we used to tell our children that we’d see snow when we got back to Canada but apart from one brief flurry (which didn’t stick) on one Hallowe’en there was never any white stuff on the ground. Oh, it was on the mountains but we seemed to be running around too much to get up there.
It wasn’t until Richard climbed Mt. Kenya for his 12 Tasks that he was able to see snow for all of a few minutes. Michelle and Laura would have to likewise wait until their 12 Tasks. Not many Canadians have to climb a mountain in Africa to experience snow.
Now, we’re here and my grandson (Jeremiah) and I spent a few days shovelling the sidewalk at the church. His dad Tyler was there as well. Almost every snow day during the holidays Jeremiah would help at home, head for his grandfather’s (1 mile away) and then head for the church. He may have secretly been hoping for school to avoid the tasks but a Covid extension gave him some extra opportunity.
Jeremiah is 14 now and has started his own business to support his rabbits. He bought himself a wagon, which he earned the money for, and goes up and down the lanes collecting recycled cans and bottles. He rakes leaves, shovels snow and is determined to keep his eye open for money making options for a young teen. He’s saving for his own laptop and he’ll have earned every penny for it.
We are proud of the way his confidence is growing and how he is purposefully working towards a goal. His father has a palm tree and banana business called Heavenly Palms and Jeremiah and his sisters have a stake in getting those plants growing. Seeds come from all over the world and they get sold all over the world. Almost every new home now has palm trees growing in the front yards. Who knew that this would be a market for something we took for granted in Africa.
Learning and earning your own way is a chance to share in the family expenses and to develop your own way in the world. It’s a way to share respect for others and their needs, choices and feelings. Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend say, in their book Boundaries with Kids (p. 103), that this “doesn’t come naturally. It is learned.”
They ask, “Have you ever been in a relationship with an adult who cannot respect your boundaries? It is a tiring and difficult thing. And learning this truth is very important for your children. If they grow up not respecting the boundaries [needs, feelings] of others, their future will be fraught with pain.”
As human beings we want things and people to function in a way which benefits us. The authors cite five things children must learn (104):
- To not be hurtful of others
- To respect the no of others without punishing them
- To respect limits in general
- To relish others’ separateness
- To feel sad instead of mad when others’ boundaries prevent them from getting what they want.
If a child is going to learn good personal boundaries they will have to see it modeled by their parents. 12 Tasks gives parents and children the chance to learn the value of healthy boundaries so that there will be good pride in the work ethic, values and goals accomplished. We take pride in all our families who want to make a difference in the next generation.