How would you like the chance to go back and feel again what you experienced in your 10-15 year old self? Can you even imagine accurately what it was like? Issues with your teeth, your skin, your diet, your friends, your identity. What hope did you have to understand when your brain hadn’t fully developed yet?
Emotions rocket up and down like a roller coaster. You’re old enough for responsibility yet not independent enough to do everything you want. The core emotions of Joy, Surprise, Sadness, Anger, Fear, Disgust, Anxiety, Envy, and Shame rose up out of your control and your reactions with them. All you know is that life is complicated, unpredictable, and bigger than you imagined.
Now, as a parent, you’re given the task of raising the next generation of emotional beings. It’s sometimes hard to recognize that you were once in that place. Your task now is to stop long enough to be aware of the emotions erupting from the one you love, to see this moment as one where you can connect and bond at a deeper level, and to activate your skills of empathy, listening, affirmation, and acceptance.
One of the important skills you’ll need as a parent is to be aware of how to label the feelings on display. Perhaps a good look at the Feelings Wheel might be helpful. If you can’t label what you see than your child can’t be expected to grow in this moment designed for connection and understanding. Of course, you’ll have to establish boundaries, set limits, navigate problems, and sort out difficult challenges in the middle of all the emotion.
The 12 Tasks are designed to help you discover your child as they emerge into adulthood and wrestle through things like their emotions. As a parent, you engage your offspring with intentionality, with curiosity, with trust, with hope, and with grace, as you establish a home culture of safety and security.
Too often, children feels that who they really are is unseen and unappreciated. Helping them discover what is beyond immediate observation can build stronger bonds for what is still ahead on the journey toward maturity. A harsh reaction of judgment or criticism can wilt them like a flower before they even step into their world.
All of us have experienced those invisible thoughts and feelings that we fear might make us unacceptable to those significant others in our world. With hormones and changes and relationships all happening while emotions are emerging it can be a vulnerable time for young teens.
Life is messy and it only gets messier as we get older. Having a mature adult walking alongside is a huge plus for someone new to the journey. Familiarize yourself with the emotions that are available and you can become that confident supporter your young one needs. 12 Tasks is designed to help with that journey. Enjoy.